I am an over thinker. Not simply in the sense that I ponder a lot, but I am one who imagines the weirdest things. My unorthodox attributes enable a very abstract and enigmatic imagination, lifestyle and world to become my reality. Most people who know me have a pretty similar opinion of me; the perception is either positive or negative depending on the individual as you would expect, but everyone considers me different or ‘mad’.
From a very early age, I often found myself giving serious consideration to issues which occurred in my community specifically domestic ones, and one subject that took a primary significance was the role of the man in the home and society.
Again with my difference in perception of most things, I often found myself in disagreement with most on that topic, as with just about any topic that surfaced. But if you ask me, when it comes to my perception of a man particularly the black man, my view is very much blurry to most, and that is based on a conclusion that I came to accept only recently; that I was raised by and have been surrounded by women in my family structure.
Brought up in a tiny family, I lived with my mother’s parents and my mom. As an only child, I was blessed to have a grandmother, (a loving, defiant and autocratic individual) along with my mother, (a reserved yet understanding and fair disciplinarian), play the primary roles in shaping me into who I am today. Their love, guidance and communication, gave me the cognisance of valuing women and how they should be treated. In simpler terms, I was taught to be a real man, by the women in my life.
I have always been one to shy away from the spotlight, and with me always been solitary, I expressed my views and concerns, likes and aspirations via documentation and writing. As I grew older, gained more experiences and eventually embraced adulthood and manhood, I grew a deeper yearning to express my views on issues pertaining to men, such as, the way a man should carry himself, the role of a father, and the pressures that men are faced with in dating and relationships.
This burning desire was rekindled, when last week as I engaged in my customary early morning scrolling of my Twitter timeline; came across a video post from the National Geographic Channel based on a fight which had occurred between two adult male penguins. Carefully the narrator relates the intriguing story, which leads to a bloody fracas, as a husband penguin leaves home in search of food, to return to a ‘homewrecker’ penguin with his wife, who she initially choses over him.
It is impossible to tell you just exactly how many emotions I experienced during the two minute and fifty-seven second video. The connections in my brain must’ve gone haywire, as my countenance switched from curiosity, disbelief and empathy back and forth throughout the display. For once I felt like my elder folks, who when watching a WWE wrestling match yell “give it to him” in creole, when the script is flipped and the aggressor in the fight is being clobbered by the defender. I was praying that the husband penguin would win the fight and eventually win back his wife’s heart. Not for the millionth time in my life, did I literally feel empathetic towards an animal.
In contrast, this was the first time I actually came to accept the conclusion that animals are, or are becoming just like humans. I’ve had many arguments comparing and contrasting the behaviour traits of animals of that to humans, and although I have seen some very strong cases, I never felt adamant that animals are indeed just like us until I saw the penguin video.
Never would I have contemplated, that animals had the tendency to be adulterous. I envisioned it to be just like us humans, that the female, upon choosing a male which she thinks is strong and powerful, the remainder of the pack are left in the cold. This video made it apparent, that females both human and animal, are the ones with the dominion rather than the males in a relationship.
Indeed women do sacrifice a lot, and God bless them for that; as they have to leave their parents’ home and cling to a husband, take his name after marriage, in many instances forget their dreams, carry his children, take care of the home (which is difficult), and still honour him as he makes HIS decisions for his family. But still women win in the end.
First of all, women are beautiful, and a strong woman with a good head on her shoulders can literally get any man that she wants, as men think with their penis rather than the brain when it comes to the opposite sex. As previously mentioned, women do sacrifice a lot, but they do have their consolation. In case of a separation or divorce, they receive at least half of the possessions owned by the couple, whether or not the man acquired them prior to their relationship unless there is a prenuptial agreement. In some instances, women don’t even need to get married to acquire a man’s assets, but rather bare him a child(ren) and the law would judge on her behalf.
Men are seen as protectors and providers, and especially in the black community, are forced to portray a personality of bravado, arrogance, ruthlessness and even ignorance in winning a woman’s ‘heart’ (just like animals). They must be ambitious and appear likely to cater to that woman’s needs (no matter how superficial) in other to seriously score, even if they choose to live the player lifestyle.
Meanwhile the ladies, whether players or potential wives, have the privilege of being ‘swept off their feet’, have money spent on them or get to enjoy the fruits of well-planned initiatives, while the man schemes on balancing his genuine ambitions with his sexual desires, walking the fine line of not blowing his cover.
It appears that the average man is supposed to show his worth til ‘thy kingdom comes’, in other to get whatever he wants; be it a wet pussy or a wife. Meanwhile, a real woman can get a man at the snap of her fingers.
Who run the world?
